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Location: Educational Program Day 4
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|UncleByBlood||The most disheartening thing||3||Jan 18 2012, 1:00 PM EST by sewmuch|
Thread started: Jan 10 2012, 11:50 PM EST Watch
As with so many of the people I have read about on this site, I too have had a long and arduous relationship with doctors. At first I responded to this question at length, ranting and raving about the so-called “health” industry. I experienced an inner tirade filled with bitter recriminations towards a profession that I feel is now dominated by the idea of profit rather than people. My criticisms became so lengthy that I realized it would be far easier to talk about the most heartening thing a doctor has ever told me about my symptoms since that list would only require a couple of sentences at most.
However, as I observed myself and my anger towards all the arrogant presumption and heartless clinical distance that I have been subjected to over the years, I saw in it an underlying theme. It wasn’t the health industry per se that I was so angry at, but the lack of caring that most bothered me. From there I realized that I am enraged by an entire world that seems to have lost any semblance of concern. From education and government, to communities and the market place – no one seems to care about anything except profit anymore. Common decency, compassion, caring and even our basic humanity seems compromised by a greedy indifference. Even parenthood has become an instrument to get what you want, even at the expense of ones children. And then I paused.
It’s shocking how obvious my most fundamental wounds are, and yet how I avoid them at all costs. An absentee father and a mother lost in her own victimization; a childhood of feeble nurturing, poverty, drug abuse, suicide attempts and hopelessness. Caught between the overwhelming desire to love and the terror of being hurt again when I try to; anger at a world (and its doctors) that no longer seems to care, and the absolute confusion of why it is the way it is.
I wonder if this could have anything to do with my back pain.
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|LBDB47||Medical exasperations||3||Dec 22 2011, 7:04 PM EST by LBDB47|
Thread started: Dec 20 2011, 6:59 PM EST Watch
A defeating action by the medical community for me was when the pain clinic "discharged" me. I had achieved no pain relief after 6 years of their treatments...they just wanted to get rid of me! That's when I knew it was going to be up to me alone to take care of myself. This program looks like an answer to my intention to rely on myself, not doctors. That avenue only showed me that I am the only one who truly cares about my pain. Loved ones do get tired of having to deal with the unpleasantness of another's illnesses and the interruptions and limitations your pain creates in the daily living of the family so you are the only one dealing with it day-to-day. Of course, this creates guilt for doing this to your family and the pain just worsens...will put that on my list!
I've had a thought that does support this program....I have a multi-handicapped, retarded daughter who has a fairly severe case of scoliosis. She does not complain of pain, never has. She does live a life with no worries or stress...she doesn't know she's suppose to have those feelings! So, the theory that our brains send the message of pain due to stress could be applied to her as an example of it... sort of in reverse...her brain doesn't have the ability to manufacture stress and conflict so her unconscious is clear of those emotions...just a thought.
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|LBDB47||Back to Ollin||0||Dec 22 2011, 2:03 AM EST by LBDB47|
Thread started: Dec 22 2011, 2:03 AM EST Watch
Yes, my daughter has been handicapped since birth and I have always said that we are fortunate that she is retarded enough that she doesn't know she's retarded...that does spare her alot of problems one finds with the border-line handicapped. She lives a fairly stress-free life while we are here because we live and suffer with the damage stress creates in our daily lives. Can't feel sorry for her then!! And no need to.
Thanx for your encouragement and may we both be medical community-free and pain-free shortly. Yes, I have faith we will.
|MorComm||Learned Pain||1||Dec 19 2011, 11:02 AM EST by ForestForTreesTMS|
Thread started: Dec 18 2011, 7:57 PM EST Watch
Sure, a PT once quipped that my pain had become "chronic" and was a symptom of "arthritis". You bet that struck a nerve (so to speak) and re-echoed in my attempts to cure my TMS with conventional physical therapy!
However, what I wanted to comment on was the epiphany I just had while reading the second part of Dr. Howard Schubiner's description of the physical process behind TMS symptoms. I realized that I had taken a severe fall rock climbing when I was about 41 or so in which I shattered my heel, broke my nose and fractured the occipital lobe of my skull. For month afterwards my left leg from the broken heel up to my lower back was bathed in pain. It now made perfect sense to me why my TMS symptoms were always on my left side - in my leg, in my butt and in my lower back. My injuries were so severe that I had to undergo extensive therapy before I could walk again and was apprehensive about returning to the scene of my accident. It left such an indelible memory that I was afraid to even get near the place where it had happened. Well, when the pain went away I went back to doing my normal physical activities: road biking, weight lifting and climbing again. No residual pain. However, ten years later, after my mother died, when I was out running, sciatica began to develop in my left leg. After maybe a month, I had a major back attack that was as painful as the broken heel while stretching to touch my toes after a run.
It is now obvious to me that the emotional trauma of losing my mom after caring for her for 5 years was on the same level as the physical trauma of my accident. The memories of the physical pain stored in my brain were reignited by the emotional pain of losing my mother after fighting to keep her alive for five years. I always wondered why my TMS seemed to reproduce the same feeling in my heel that I had experienced when it was healing after being shattered. Thanks to Dr. Schubiner I now feel I do know why.
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|Giacomo17||Getting past my structural diagnosis.||2||Nov 14 2011, 4:28 PM EST by Giacomo17|
Thread started: Nov 13 2011, 12:07 PM EST Watch
A chiropractor I saw showed me X-rays saying that I had a bit of a pinched nerve that ran to the arm I've been having trouble with. (His adjustments helped temporarily at first, but after a year or so, did next to nothing for it) So that's something I'm still having difficulty getting over.
Could it just be a pinched nerve? All other signs seem to point to TMS: worrying about the pain tends to make it worse; affirming and visualizing strength tends to make it better; being honestly emotionally expressive helps; stresses in life tends to make it worse; pain sometimes moves around to the other side of the same wrist, or sometimes to the hand.
Another structural question I had was with journaling: when I write, I write about three pages. And I don't hold much reservation when doing so. So my writing hand, the hand undergoing the recovery, gets tired. Or so I think. I'm not really sure if it's just getting physically tired (in which case I should rest it) or if this is just a flare up of TMS (in which case I should probably just keep going). How do you think I could tell the difference?
Thanks so much again!
|Mely120||The most disheartening thing a doctor has told you about your symptoms||5||Sep 18 2011, 1:33 AM EDT by JanAtheCPA|
Thread started: Jul 31 2011, 2:20 PM EDT Watch
I'm on Day 4 of the Educational program and wanted to address the question in the subject line that is posed on this day. I have known I have TMS for about 5 years but haven't conquered it due to not really following any structured program. I was therefore really excited to have found this educational program to follow. Even though I am a TMS believer I started telling myself recently that maybe my recurring pain is really being caused by a physical problem. So I went to my doctor recently to discuss a few different issues and brought up my neck, shoulder and back pain. As in the past she told me that it is stress related. It was a relief to hear that she is a little more enlightened then some of the other doctors I've seen. After discussing this a little more however she told me that I may want to consider taking an SSRI (anti-depressant) since this has tremendously helped some of the patients she treats for fibromyalgia.
This advice really bothered me. First of all I couldn't understand how she could tell me my pain was stress related but her other patients with similar pain have fibromyalgia. Don't get me wrong. I'm not interested in having fibromyalgia it's just that I thought we had been on the same page. But this made me feel like she wasn't taking me very seriously since my pain was stress related though other patients have serious pain in the form of fibromyalgia. I think this may be something other TMS suffers can relate to. I look very together and try to seem happy so I don't think people really believe how much pain I am in. It was such a confusing discussion to be told my pain is stress related but it it doesn't go away then maybe I should treat it like it's a "more serious" condition called fibromyalgia. Anyhow, this was a good impetus for me to get back on the TMS bandwagon and finally try and get to the bottom of my pain.
Thanks for listening.
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|Mely120||Confused about journaling||7||Aug 13 2011, 10:15 AM EDT by mizlorinj|
Thread started: Aug 1 2011, 3:28 AM EDT Watch
I'm quite confused about journaling. I've finished Day 4 of the program and have filled in a number of things on my lists. Am I meant to start journaling on each of those things each day? Am I meant to just keep a journal and write about things that happened in the day and the emotions I felt? I found the link to the page: "how do I journal" and it's an interesting read but when reading it I feel like I've missed some previous instruction regarding journaling.
I'd appreciate any guidance on when and how to start journalling.
out of found this valuable. Do you find this valuable?
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|ForestForTreesTMS||Day 4 of the Program||2||Jul 26 2010, 7:22 PM EDT by ForestForTreesTMS|
Thread started: Jul 22 2010, 4:09 PM EDT Watch
I put up the fourth day of the free online educational program today, and would love to get some feedback on it. There are some variations to this day, primarily the journaling technique is an unsent letter, instead of the standard free-write. You can see the page by going to http://tmswiki.wetpaint.com/page/Educational+Program+Day+4
All of the feedback I have gotten so far has been great, and I look forward to hearing from more and more people. Also if anyone wants to make any changes such as editing, feel free to do it. Just let us know what you are up to in a thread. Also, if anyone is interested in actually writing out a day of the program you are more than welcomed to do so. Simply pick a day, and let everyone know in a thread.
Thanks for all the hard work everyone,
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