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Activegal |
new to TMS
Jul 12 2009, 12:17 PM EDT
...I just read the book 2 days ago and am trying to figure it all out. I am almost positive I have TMS. I have had x rays and MRI's and everything shows up normal. I started training for Triathlons over 2 years ago after having 4 children. 1/2 way through training I injured my shoulder swimming and started having tingling, weekness, pain that comes and goes. I also started to develop pain in my knees, hip and low back. The pain shifts around constantly. I've tried months of chiropractic, Physical therapy, massage, Active Release technique, and Intramuscular stimulation and nothing has helped. I stopped exercising a few months ago thinking it would stop the pain but it hasn't at all. It's stayed the same. I'm really hoping there is hope for me. The book makes sense and I am willing to apply the principals taught. I guess since I'm so new to this and having JUST read the book, I'm finding myself obsessing about all this (sounds OCD, doesn't it? ha ha). I'm wondering how long it usually takes for people to "get it" and get relief? ALso I used to love training and I do notice my pain heightens when I run and swim, actually not during training but just afterwards. Everything feels inflammed in my hips (from running) or shoulders, arms from swimming. Do I just keep talking myself through it? Anyway, I'm hoping to learn a lot from this group and I'm excited to have some support and wisdom. Thanks so much for any responses, they will be greatly appreciated!
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flutterby2 |
1. RE: new to TMS
Jul 12 2009, 2:29 PM EDT
Hi - and welcome!It sounds very much as if you are on the right track and that your pain will soon be a thing of the past. You asked how long it usually takes to get relief - I was classed as a 'slow recovery' but I'm amazed that, after 42 years of almost constant backpain, a month after starting the 'Sarno Treatment', I was virtually pain-free - and getting even better all the time! If I do have any pain now, I can invariably link it to something 'psychological' very quickly and get rid of it. For me the journaling was central to my recovery as it enabled me to 'feel' emotions that I'd pushed to one side; but others find 'positive thinking' more helpful. You'll discover what works best for you as you go along. Is it possible that the pain you feel after running and swimming is the result of having stopped for a while? Maybe just build it up very gradually? Good luck! Do you find this valuable? |
HilaryN123 |
2. RE: new to TMS
Jul 13 2009, 12:25 PM EDT
Hi, welcome to the wiki!Yes, keep talking yourself through it. I agree with flutterby, though, it's better to build up gradually. Give yourself time to absorb the concepts and re-educate your mind. Do you find this valuable? |
Peghanson |
3. RE: new to TMS
Jul 14 2009, 9:15 AM EDT
I think it's different for everyone. Some people seem to "get it" more quickly and find relief. I had 10 years of upper back and neck pain before finding Dr. Sarno's books. While I noticed some immediate lessening in my pain, it took me several months to really "get it". I think I had trouble really believing deep down that TMS was real. I read many other books about the mindbody connection and they all supported his theory. My success story is here: http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5469You may want to check out the tmshelpforum and post your questions there as well. While the wiki is a great source of information, the discussions tend to be more active there: http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/forum.asp?FORUM_ID=2 You say you were training for triathalons after having four children. Sounds like a lot of pressure. Was it difficult for you to carve out that time for your training? Was there any guilt involved (not that there should be, but as a conscientious parent there could be and that could cause TMS symptoms). Were you feeling like you needed something in your life just for you? (Also potential cause of repressed emotions)Do you fit the profile in Dr. Sarno's book? As long as you have been checked out medically, I think it's reasonable to use the TMS approach. Just be aware, that initially, you may experience the symptoms moving around or in other words, once one pain resolves, another one may pop up to take it's place. Dr. Sarno calls this the symptom imperative. It may happen until you believe fully in the diagnosis or until the emotional reasons behind the symptoms are addressed, and either resolved or at the very least, acknowledged. Good luck. I hope this information changes your life like it did mine. In my opinion, this is some of the most empowering information I've ever come across. Do you find this valuable? |
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flutterby2 |
4. RE: new to TMS
Jul 14 2009, 11:51 AM EDT
Reading what Peg wrote about symptoms moving around reminded me that I didn't mention that for me, although they didn't move around, they seemed to get much worse for a few days before they got better. I believe this happens quite often - forewarned is fore-armed!
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Activegal |
5. RE: new to TMS
Jul 14 2009, 7:17 PM EDT
Thank you everyone for your encouragment and ideas! I read some of your testimonies (including Peghanson's-thank you) and they are so inspiring! I think that will help a lot with the process, seeing people that were even worse than me get better. And not just get better but fully healed. Amazing!So what you said Peghanson is right. I started training for triathlons when my youngest was 2 years old. I was ready to do something for myself since I had just had 4 children in 6 1/2 years. I was enthusiastic and was doing great, getting stronger, enjoying it. Well then I stepped it up. I started to put HUGE pressure on myself to not just train but train to WIN. Even though they were the short distances, I trained so hard each time I went out and had the goal to be winner or at least do amazing. Well, I did win one triathlon in my age group and another I came in 2nd place and silly as it may sound but the 2nd place killed me! My chain fell off my bike and in my mind I should have won (if only it had not fallen off-I kept replaying the scenario over in my head). So I am very self motivated, have high goals for myself. I'm also an artist and at times I've really been known to PUSH push myself. I want to make the $ to help out our family and do some great paintings, I stay up late, neglect the housework so I can paint. But when all the pain really started to surface I had been homeschooling my children for a few years...yes all 4. Well only the oldest 2 at the time but I had all 4 at home. You can imagine the stress of having to teach, with toddlers running around and MORE pressure I was putting on myself to give them an amazing education. YEt, my husband worked long hours, I still had meals (of course I had to be a good cook and have fresh home baked goods around all the time), housework, friendships, lack of sleep with toddlers. I still told myself I could do it and I was wonder woman and I could do Anything I wanted to do. Do you find this valuable? |
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Activegal |
6. RE: new to TMS
Jul 14 2009, 7:23 PM EDT
and here's more....I felt stressed all the time though and was getting very irritable with those closest to me-my family. Many know me as a nice, sweet person so I pushed down the irritableness in my and tried so hard to be "nice" to everyone. YES, I am also a people pleaser. I would still try to make meals for people who were having babies in our church and help in our church whenever they asked. So as you can see...I very much fit the personality profile. Okay so you probably get it from my ramblings...=) The pain got really bad when my dad got sick, was hospitalized 3 times, almost died, I was feeling very stressed out trying to keep up my image of being so "great"-that sounds terrible, so I stuffed my emotions. I did not even let myself feel sad or cry much. I did not want to deal with all these things my dad was going through. I even prided myself on being so "strong" and I could deal with anything because I did not have to deal with my emotions any longer. I was completely numb. This was important for me because until I was about 25, I was always super emotional. Cryed very easily and very compassionate, sensitive. But then with having kids, stresses of life, it got easier to "Stuff" them. Right around the time my dad was sick, I had a very hard thing happen to a friend of mine and I had to spend hours & days listening and helping her through her situation. It was very very draining and hard on me. I had to "Stuff" my emotions once more and be strong for her. My pain in the mean time was getting worse and here I thought it was all from my triathlon training. Looking back it was from all the stress. It was also very hard finding time to go to all these drs appts, and Physical Therapy etc to figure out my problem. Then a few months later we had working visa issues. Being from Canada we had to leave the USA ( our home of 8 years) in a very sudden, unexpected way. Do you find this valuable? |
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Activegal |
7. RE: new to TMS
Jul 14 2009, 7:32 PM EDT
You can imagine craziness/stress of all this! I remember the weekend afterwards...I had tingling so badly in my legs I was so worried I had MS or something? Yet through all of this...I remained strong and determined to not let my emotions get to me. I can't believe I did this!So we've been back in Canada 8 months and it's been hard. A lot of stuff that I can't even go into...I believe in Jesus and I do believe He is in control of our lives and I've seen major miracles along the way, I know my faith has increased because of all our hardships and I have a lot of peace. I got this book in a really neat way and I do believe it's exactly what I've got! The TMS. I had a really great day yesterday with almost no pain but now today a stressful day and I've got major neck, lower back pain, shoulder pain, hip pain. I keep talking to myself and I know it's the stress. I guess I just need to learn how to deal with it and keep reading, evaluating my life. I'm wondering if all those feelings I repressed for so long, still need to come out? Do I just need to cry for days? I've started writing in a journal and lots of quiet times of forgiving, praying, reading. It's been helpful. Anyway, thanks for letting me rant and rave and share my life and heart & reading this post. It is a great "journaling" session for me today. Sorry it's sooo long. =) Do you find this valuable? |
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Peghanson |
8. RE: new to TMS
Jul 14 2009, 8:02 PM EDT
Wow, Activegal----Don't apologize. Those posts are EXACTLY what you need to be unearthing. It's fantastic that you can look back with such insight and realize that your body was screaming at you to stop! Of course it was due to all that stress and the pressure of trying so hard to be strong, a good person, be there for everyone, etc You're on your way. Thank you for sharing so honestly. On the Books and DVD's page of the wiki there is an extensive list of books that have been helpful to tms'ers. One of them is by Gabor Mate, MD, titled "When The Body Says No". You can read a brief description of the book on that page, but I just wanted to comment on the title and how appropriate it is to our situations. I was also trying to be strong, a perfect parent, wife, daughter, etc So much pressure. One of the important suggestions in HBP, is to find balance. The rage soothe ratio/balancing our responsibilities, with fun, relaxation, pleasurable activities. Keep journaling, cry when you can, grieve what you have a right to, allow others to support you for a change, lower your standards. In The Divided Mind, Dr. Andrea Leonard Seigel writes an excellent chapter in which she asks, what's wrong with average? My thoughts are; what are we trying to prove, by pushing ourselves so? That we're worthy, lovable, special? Why do we have to accomplish something spectacular to be okay? Why do we have to be superhuman? I think it helps if we think of our best and most beloved friend. Would we put that much pressure on her/him? Would we criticize her if she came in second, was less than perfect, ordered take out, etc? I don't think so. We need to learn to take true care of ourselves. To be our own best friend. Okay now I'm sounding corny, but you know what I mean. I'm sorry that you have gone through so much. Thank you for sharing your story. Keep at the tms approach. Try not to get discouraged about set backs. Do you find this valuable? |
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Peghanson |
9. RE: new to TMS
Jul 14 2009, 8:10 PM EDT
....and whatever you do....LISTEN UP HERE.....Do not try to do tms recovery perfectly!!! Do not try to do it better, faster than others. Do not strive for an A in this class. Take your time, give yourself what you need. It takes as long as it takes.The tms recovery process, in my experience is not a straight trajectory, but a process with ups and downs. Any recurrences of pain that I have had, have been short lived because of the knowledge acquired,the tools learned and the eventual acceptance of myself, tms and all.P.S. you can call me Peg 1 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
pandamonium09 |
10. RE: new to TMS
Jul 15 2009, 4:56 AM EDT
Wow ActiveGirl, I am gobsmacked, you really tried to be a super hero, and as Peg says, your body called you back. As a mom of two kids with a 15 month age gap I am astonished that you managed to keep your sanity and do home Ed as well, and home cooking!!!!!It's true what Peg says; you need to be kind to yourself and not try to be superwoman. If my best friend with 4! kids had a messy house and bought pre-prepared food I wouldn't be hard on her, I'd be thinking "you gotta do what you gotta do to survive when the kids are small and sleep is lacking". You now need to take this attitude with yourself. Yes you need to let all of those emotions out, every single last one of them, no matter how long it takes. Journalling can help you work them all through and would be a great starting point for you. By the way how did you find the wiki? 1 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
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Activegal |
11. RE: new to TMS
Jul 15 2009, 11:14 AM EDT
I know it's all kind of embarassing looking back to see how "crazy" I was. I was really trying to prove something. NOt even sure what it was. But I even realized through all the hardships to let a lot go. I could not keep up with home education and I was so worried sending my kids to school but they are doing great! I'm not training for tris anymore but I'd love to get back into running for fun again soon. My meals are sometimes just eggs and toast for dinner etc..., =) My expectations are way lower. Since the pain is still there, it must be my emotions that are still holding on in my body. And I am having a hard time believing it's an emotional/ mental problem at times. I think it will take a little time to all sink in. I keep reminding myself over and over. I just got the Back book by Dr. Sarno and I find it easier to read than the Body Mind prescription. I think some other books may also be helpful. Thanks Peg. I appreciate so much all the comments and advice. It is so helpful! Thanks so much. I'm sure I'll have many more as the days go on. It's great to have this support, and I get all excited when I get an email notice from this group. =) Do you find this valuable? |
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flutterby2 |
12. RE: new to TMS
Jul 15 2009, 11:32 AM EDT
| Post edited: Jul 15 2009, 5:52 PM EDT
Hi Activegirl - just out of curiosity (and to give you the excitement of an email notice!) I'm wondering how your pain is when you're painting? I paint too and found in the past that my pain seemed to go away completely when I was painting. I'm wrote that in the past tense because I have very little pain nowadays so it doesn't make any difference.
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HilaryN123 |
13. RE: new to TMS
Jul 15 2009, 5:29 PM EDT
That's a lot of insights Activegal. It's good that you're doing the journalling - you're on the right track. Keep it up!
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Peghanson |
14. RE: new to TMS
Jul 15 2009, 8:19 PM EDT
I don't think it's "crazy" at all. I think it's a way of trying to be a good person, caring, responsible, conscientious.Keep up the good work. Hope you continue to improve and get to have fun with your new found freedom from pain:) Take care 1 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
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Activegal |
15. RE: new to TMS
Jul 16 2009, 1:35 AM EDT
Yeah a new email notice. =) My pain is actually pretty good when I'm doing things I love. When I paint, or tried running recently, there is no pain during but I have pain afterwards. Yeah for little pain nowadays for you! I am hoping to get there one day. I had a great day of minimal pain but tonight...ouch. I'm just trying to figure it all out and how my brain is working and what may be bothering me at the time of pain.So I want to know what do you when you are presented with a stressful situation? I can feel the pain more intense in the moment of a stressful time. And then I panic a bit not knowing what to do at the moment with the stress and pain at the same time? 1 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
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Peghanson |
16. RE: new to TMS
Jul 16 2009, 6:51 AM EDT
During stressful times which can bring on tms, I would journal about it, talk to a friend, re-read Sarno, reassure myself that it was just the stress and that everything would work out (it always does). Also, after all you have accomplished, I think it's reasonable for you to reassure yourself that you will get through it and be okay, and that it;s okay to ask for help. How about some de-stressing activities; a hot bath, a funny movie, your favorite music, being in nature....I know it's hard, but try to accept some increased symptoms and they will pass sooner. What we resist persists, as they say. Take care Do you find this valuable? |
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pandamonium09 |
17. RE: new to TMS
Jul 16 2009, 12:39 PM EDT
Arrgghh I wroe a long post and then lost it :(But what I was going to say was this: the fact that you are pain free while enjoying your "me time" and then in pain afterwards makes me wonder if subconciously you feel guilty having me time, and then angry at the guilt. Worth exploring with journalling I'd say. Do you find this valuable? |
ForestForTreesTMS |
18. RE: new to TMS
Jul 22 2009, 3:05 PM EDT
| Post edited: Jul 22 2009, 3:06 PM EDT
Hi ActiveGal,So how are things now? Any updates? By the way, would you like us to send your "what to do in a stressful situation" to a TMS doctor or therapist as a Q&A question? Do you find this valuable? |
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Activegal |
19. RE: new to TMS
Jul 23 2009, 4:50 PM EDT
Thanks for asking! I've had a few days with NO pain but then other days I have a lot of pain. I have been exercising lightly..just doing something for 1/2 hour each day. Maybe that's taboo. It does not seem to make it any worse but the same. There is no rhyme or reason to my pain. Some days my arms, shoulders hurt with tingling down them, tingling into my face and cold sensations in my body. (by the way, has anyone ever experienced cold sensations along with tingling?- does that also sound TMS?) WHen my arms hurt my hips (piriformis more specifically) does not hurt but then the arm pain will go away and my piriformis will hurt really badly. I seem to have NO pain when I'm doing things I love like hanging out at the beach with my kids, or having coffee with a friend, going for a bike ride with my hubby, having a nice jog or walk while listening to music. All the pain happens afterwards, when I'm doing everyday life...making meals, cleaning, driving my kids to swim lessons. I'm having moments where emotions come and I let them out and recognize them. But then I have pain and try to think about what's bothering me yet I feel like nothing is at the moment..the only thing bothering me is the pain which I try to ignore but it's hard. Maybe it's fear of the pain. Something I am really recognizing is I do have a lot of fears. That is a step ahead. I also have to say I have moments, which are few , but moments of doubt. Even though I have had MRI's of my back and neck that are normal, I wonder if I should have one on my brain "just in case there is something else wrong" ? Yet my symptoms are so typical of TMS (as well as my personality) so I keep telling myself that's most likely what I have. I am talking to my brain a lot too...but it does get exhausting doing that. Sometimes I just don't want to think at all and am feeling "tired" of all this.
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